Thursday, 28 August 2014

The Ape 50

Sorry to say, here is another of my pet hates: the Ape (pronounced "ahpay"), viz the little three-wheeler trucks that infest the roads around here.
“Ape” literally means bee, probably because they make a buzzing sound as they go along. Or at least, some of them do. Most of them seem to have some kind of problem with their exhaust, so actually make an awful racket.
The drivers of these vehicles have various traits in common.
They tend to drive very slowly where  it is impossible to overtake them and then suddenly acquire an abnormal velocity on the straighter stretches.
They tend to look everywhere but at the road ahead. This means that they often zig-zag and as you are overtaking (if you are lucky enough to be able to do so), you will find them veering towards you.
They  tend to take their wives/friends/children/grandchildren/dog(s) along for the ride, squeezing them into the already tiny cabin. Now for any of you that are not conversant with an Ape’s interior, the steering wheel is not actually a wheel, but more like the handlebar of a bike. It is also not to the right or to the left, but central.  So obviously when the driver is not sitting in the middle, but squashed to one side, the chance of it being driven in a straight line is even less.
I am always very wary when I have an Ape in front of me. You never know if they are going to turn, stop dead or even topple over. The use of indicators is a rarity, (but that is normal here), and on the bends they tend to decelerate all of a sudden, risking a pile up from behind.
“Ape”s are always on the road when I am going to work, coming home from work, or in a hurry. They smell, they smoke, they are toxic.
I so wish they would only be allowed out at night!

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